Sons of Bill Simmons

Rumors involving Boston Sports, Celebrity Gossip, and Humor

The Hot, the Not and the Shot!

Posted by Mike on December 2, 2008


It’s time for everyone’s favorite Blog show… The Hot, The Not and The Shot

The Boston Bruins and The Boston Celtics
Wait for it…. yes, the HOT!  These teams are blazing right now, we got the Bruins, looking like the glory days of Bourque and Neely; mixing speed, skill, scoring and goaltending simply flying on all cylinders. After an impressive win over Detroit this weekend, that Western Conference test only made the B’s blacker (alternate jerseys) and better. Kessel coming into his own, Savard with 30 pts. and Tim Thomas with a 1.88 GAA…gotta love keeping these tenders healthy by efficiently splitting time and producing, kudos Cam.  
Celts (17-2) are winners of 9 straight, 16 of 17 at home, Pierce is dominating anyone who tries to cover him and Rondo’s new napping before games and showing up later to the arena has worked out to where he’s Cousy like dishing and dealing…the Champs are here!!

New England Patriots and the MNF Pylon Placer — Yes, yes you’ve guessed it, these are the Not’s.  After a 5-minute collapse of turnovers and phantom blocking, the Pats playoff chances are shrinking faster than George Costanza in a swimming pool.With a Jets loss this statement game would’ve positioned New England into a division tie and/or a solid wildcard spot but a tale of two halfs brought Matt Cassel back to reality and exposed Deltha “fly by me” O’Neal and that sh*t tackling of safety Merriweather really pissed me off.  Seattle is the perfect band-aid next week, hopefully the bleeding stops.  

Now here’s to you Mr. Houston Texan Pylon Placer…early in the 1st quarter Andre Johnson pulled a quick turn toward the end zone and held the ball over the pylon…oh wait, the pylon was placed out of bounds, leaving the corner of the end zone pylonless. Houston, we have a problem!  Tell Ollie to go back to the farm.

Stephon Marbury, Ryan Clark and Plaxico Burress — three scumbags?  Three sh*t talking showboats? No, no the answer is- one takes No more shots, one takes cheap shots and the other shoots himself….yes folks these are The SHOT!
Scumbag number 1- Marbury, bury yourself 6-feet deep so the world doesn’t have to deal with the sh*t you spew out, your teammates hate you, your coach hates you, New York I’m sure hates you for investing in such trash and now I hate you…get off my tv screen and sit in your fox hole and wait for the gunfire.  
Ryan Clark, the cheap shot on Wes Welker was typical Steeler football…it’s like stabbing someone in the back, prey on the defenseless then get all jacked up afterwards…your a coward chump, no name assclown…if I see you crossing the street I’m coming with a pitchfork and giving you a shot to talk about…there better be a fine coming for this chump.

And Mr. Gun Shot Plaxico Burress, way to shoot yourself, get arrested for carrying a concealed weapon in sweatpants, not reporting it and pretending to be someone else all in one magic night in Spanish Harlem…sadly this is happened a year late for New England fans and New York’s latest poster boy has most likely been fired and actually made the Giants better…this is almost as bad as Tiki Barber asking Eli about how the team is able to put all distractions behind them and keep winning games…umm Tiki, that’s why they torched your ass and won a super bowl…The NY Gunmen really got it all figured out.

Shots on me!
Ragin Rondo


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