Sons of Bill Simmons

Rumors involving Boston Sports, Celebrity Gossip, and Humor

Archive for September, 2008

Did This Coin Defy Gravity ?

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

Did this thing ever flip ?

Thanks to The Big Lead


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This Is A Rather Odd Fetish

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

Who’d ever think that a six-foot, 335 pound NFL defensive linemen could be such a fan of Spongebob ? I guess by his attire exhibited in the photo above, and a story on baller alert, Hollis Thomas is that big of a Spongebob fan. The New Orleans Saints defensive tackle sleeps on Spongebob sheets, rocks a Spongebob medallion on his necklace, and watches Spongebob during sex.  The 13-year NFL veteran certainly has one of the more unique obsessions. It could be worse. At least he’s not obsessed with drugs or penis pumps. I wonder if his child is not a fan of Spongebob, do you think Hollis would consider the child a disappointment ? More from Baller Alert:

To Whom It May Concern: Hollis Thomas is a 34 year old, 13 year NFL veteran. He is stubborn, lovable, & friendly. He is your typical NFL baller… however; he has a fetish with Spongebob. This man is obsessed with Spongebob. He sleeps on Spongebob sheets, rocks a Spongebob medallion on his necklace, and watches Spongebob during sex. His room is chalked full of everything Spongebob, he references Spongebob during his conversations!!! I think he once he gets a hold of something he refuses to let it go… the only thing he has been releasing lately is his receding hairline. I would call him weird but even weirdos have a method to their madness. You can catch him coloring Spongebob pictures with felt markers or playing a Spongebob game on one of his many gaming consoles. He wears Spongebob underwear like they are the latest pair of Calvin Klein’s.

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Red Sox – Angels Preview

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

It’s playoff time and the Red Sox are facing the Angels again this time in the first round.  The series starts on Wednesday at 10:00 in Anaheim, here are the starters for the first three games:


This is the first game match up, with Lester who was probably the best and most consistent pitcher on the staff.  To think we almost traded him along the Masterson, Lowrie and Bowden for Johan Santana.  Against the Angels ace John Lackey, the Red Sox have owned Lackey especially at home, but his last outing he took a no hitter into the 9th at Fenway.  There is no Manny for the Sox, but the Angels owned the Sox this year when Manny was here, maybe it will be different in he playoffs without him.

Second matchup Friday 9:30pm:


The match up is Daisuke Matsuzaka against Ervin SantanaDaisuke has been one of the most frustrating pitchers to watch with all his walks and getting into trouble.  Some how he finds a way to get out of it, he has not allowed a hit with the bases loaded this year, and it is like he gets the bases loaded once a game.  He has an 18-3 record which was better than last year.  Also Santana was almost traded last year and in this off season for Miguel Cabrera.  He was terrible last year so much so that he was sent down to the minors, similar to Clay Buchholz.  He is candidate for comeback player of the year, he was an allstar this year and now pitching the second game of the ALDS

Third Matchup TBA:


This is a big game because Beckett hurt his oblique in a side session on Friday.  That is why he is not the game one starter.  We all know Beckett is the best playoff pitcher when healthy, he was great down the stretch this year getting a couple of no decisions and not allowing many runs either.  Joe Saunders is another young Anaheim pitcher that has produced he is a tough lefty, and the Red Sox have trouble against them this year. 

It is gonna be a tough series, the Sox will not sweep them this year.  Anaheim looks like the Red Sox last year with 2 big bats (Texiera and Vlad) in the middle of a balanced line up, and healthy team.  While the Red Sox look like Anaheim of last year one big bat (Big Papi) and hurt ( JD Drew and Lowell).  It is gonna be tough, the Sox have to keep the Angels table setters off the bases so there big bats can’t drive them in.  The Sox have to win like the Angels did for so many years, with speed, defense and great base running. 


PS: I love the fact that the Yankees and Mets are not in the playoffs… Lets go Sox

Posted in Blogroll, MLB, Red Sox, Uncategorized, Yankees | 1 Comment »

Plaxico Burress Is To Being A Good Teammate As Lehman Brothers Is To Banking

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

Just last week, it was learned that New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress would be suspended for two weeks; missing a total of one game. It was because Burress did not showup to Giants that Monday after they beat the Cincinnati Bengals, and he did not call nor answer the Giants calls. It was later found out that Burress may have had a few altercations at his home, as the reason he did not show. Jay Glazer of Fox Sports now reports that Burress as a member of the Giants has been fined 40 to 50 times and he has only played 50 games as a member of the team. Reasons for his fines have been due to missing treatment, meetings, showing up late, anal sex with teammates (not really just wanted to see if you were paying attention). Incredibly. he may have been fined already ten times this year. What a teammate! It doesn’t look like winning the Super Bowl has gone to the head of Burress, does it ? I always thought that Burress was a Patriots type of player, and after these latest allegations about the wide receiver, it just cements that theory. More from Fox Sports:

FOX Sports has learned that during his tenure with the Giants, Burress has been fined by the team between 40 and 50 times, a stunning number considering he’s played just 50 games with the Big Blue.

“He’s been fined for missing treatment, meetings, showing up late … there’s probably been 10 times this year alone,” said one source.

According to several team sources, Burress has not seemed overly affected by being hit in the wallet this often. What did affect him, however, was the Giants preventing Burress from playing in the next game.

“That really bothered him,” said another source who requested anonymity. “He doesn’t care about the fines but if you don’t let him play … that’s all he cares about. He just wants to play football. He pretty much put Jerry Reese and Coach in a bad spot on this one. It had to stop and just fining him again wasn’t going to do it.”

Burress contends that he missed Monday but Tuesday was an off day and thus, how could he be fined for missing two days of work when one was an off day? However, he did not contest the unexcused Monday.  

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All Good Is Now Restored To America

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

In the apology that everyone knew was to happen, Dallas Mavericks forward, Josh Howard reaffirmed that he still does “love this country.” During yesterday’s media day for the Dallas Mavericks, Howard as you can believe was in the eye of the storm for reporters. After a tumultuous offseason were he admitting to smoking the devil’s grass, and just last month was caught on video saying that he’s black and he doesn’t stand for the national anthem. This apology was as likely as Clay Aiken finally admitting he liked ham in a ham sandwich. Not even the Don Imus apology was an inevitable as this one. Come on, he plays in Texas were some of the most patriotic (which is a euphemism for crazy) people live. If he didn’t apolgize God knows what would have been said to him. More from Dallas Morning News:

“I know that’s not me,” he said. “I love this country. If it wasn’t for this country, I wouldn’t be out here playing basketball. For me to have that opportunity is the greatest.

“That’s not me. That’s not Josh Howard. That was an idiot.”

“I apologize to everybody I’ve offended,” the 6-7 forward said. “I’m upset with myself and the way I’ve acted. It was just me joking around. I just wasn’t using my head. I learned that words really do hurt and you are held accountable for what you said.

“I went to military school. I have friends that serve in the military. I know how it is to wake up and salute the flag. In the national anthem every game, I have my hand over my heart. It was just me not thinking.”

Posted in Blogroll, NBA, NFL | 2 Comments »

Can You Out Chug Yao Ming ?

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

You’d think a guy as big as Yao (7’6) could chug a beer a whole lot quicker. There is no doubt in my mind that I could chug two beers quicker then the Asian sensation, but not as quick as this guy.

Posted in Blogroll, Humor, NBA | 1 Comment »

This Can’t Be Good For His Locker Room Cred

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

New York Giants running back Danny Ware was arrested on Sunday morning, for pedestrian under the influence and pedestrian in the roadway, after his Alma mater Georgia Bulldogs got walloped by the Alabama Crimson Tide 41-30, according to Not too sure how this look is going to go over with teammates in the locker room, but you can sure bet that Ware will find out. This has to be one of the most embarrassing mugshots for a NFL player since Cedric Benson got schultzed by the cops. What grown man still wears cheerleader tattoos on his face ? Well at least this mugshot tells us two things about Ware: 1) He went to the University of Georgia 2) He is certainly not lacking in the school-spirit department. More from

Ware, 23, and a 24-year-old Dallas woman attracted police attention at East Clayton Street near North Jackson Street at about 2:25 a.m. Sunday, according to the police report. The two stood in the street talking and traffic had to steer around, according to police.

Ware admitted to drinking and a breath test showed he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.152, according to the police report.

Ware was released from Clarke County jail after he posted a $500 cash bond four hours later, according to jail records.

Posted in Blogroll, College Football, NFL | 1 Comment »

Now This Is A Fight

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

Thanks to Busted Coverage

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Which Style is More Acceptable ?

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

In the pictures above, we have two celebrities, my man Don Johnson, and model Kate Moss, and apparently being with either of the two requires that you must also dress like them as well. In Don’s case we have a bit more subtle approach to dressing alike, but in the case of Moss, it just screams “he’s my bitch”. I don’t care if you’re dating Megan Fox, you never, ever dress like your companion.  Although at times I will occasionally dress up as a submissive furrie. But seriously, which one is more acceptable ? Kate Moss is a model, and anytime you sleep with a model no matter how ugly she is, you can always say you banged a model. But plaid ? I haven’t worn that since 7th grade. I have to go with Miami Vice legend Don Johnson in his wilderness attire. It would be subtle enough for me to wear with a lady of my liking.

But I’d still rather be like Billy Idol in these very NSFW photos.

And how could I not link this video of my man Don Johnson ?

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Temptation Is The Devil

Posted by Mike on September 30, 2008

If being suspended multiple times for drug-related offenses wasn’t enough, Miami Dolphins running back, Ricky Williams had to fight off temptation during the bye week not to smoke marijuana, according to the Miami Herald. I once had to fight off the urges of using petroleum jelly. But thanks to the man upstairs and meditation, Williams fought off the urges not to smoke the devil’s grass. Thank goodness for Williams, the Dolphins, and fantasy league owners of Williams, because if the running back had actually hit that 3-foot bong harder then the cheap shot he threw at Mike Vrabel, the career of Williams would have been d-u-n done. More from Miami Herald:

Williams, in the NFL’s substance-abuse program since 2002 and having tested positive four times, said Monday he was briefly tempted to smoke marijuana while the Dolphins had their bye weekend.

Williams said the extra free time was the primary reason for the temptation.

”Most definitely,” Williams said. ‘It’s greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began — every day is a grind, it’s a grind, it’s a grind — and then Coach says `you’re free.’ And the mind says, `I’m free, what can I do?’

“So there was definitely an urge. But I just thought about what I have to lose and it was easy. The urge didn’t last very long.”

Williams said he successfully combated the urge to smoke by meditating instead.

”I’ve done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,” Williams said. “So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.”

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